A Step Up, A Step Down – The Wobbly Road to Recovery

Step-ladder_stile_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1208202 by Kate Jewell

Step-ladder stile by Kate Jewell WikiCommons

My son is five and a half months clean, still going strong in recovery, but still struggling to acquire the basics in life, what so many of us take for granted: stable housing, stable income, stable relationships.

He lives in a metal shed, what his friend calls “his guest house.” It has a bed, a chair, a table, a refrigerator, and even a TV that plays two channels. Pretty comfy for a metal shed. But there’s no plumbing. No kitchen. No insulation. No heat or air conditioning.

He showers at a local gym. He cooks on a hot plate and microwave oven. He has a portable heater and fan.

It’s a step up, or a step down, depending on how you look at it. Before he moved here he was living in a motel room for $1350 a month. His shed is free, so he’s able to start saving money again, and get caught up in child support payments. So that’s a step up.

It’s a step down because—well—it’s a shed. And his girlfriend and son are no longer living with him. They’ve moved back to the shelter.

But he’s still working, still going to AA meetings with his sponsor, still going to the counseling required by his Prop 36 program, still taking Methadone, and still dating his new girlfriend. He even has been able to see his daughter a couple of times since I last posted here. He’s talked to a lawyer about getting visiting rights.

Life is good, considering he was at death’s door only seven months ago when I started this blog: having been kicked out of rehab, living on the street, two overdoses within a week of each other, and another on my bathroom floor around this time last year.

So I’m happy and hopeful, and more importantly, so is he.

Life is good on the wobbly road to recovery.

13 thoughts on “A Step Up, A Step Down – The Wobbly Road to Recovery

  1. Your post reports progress as far as I’m concerned. Being a parent of a heroin addict, now out of prison, I try to focus on any progress. I don’t bury my head in the sand, but I’m working on heading God’s advice of thinking on things positive. May the Lord help your son continue to make progress!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m familiar with the wobbly steps towards clean and sober. My son was on methadone for about 13 years and did fine until he began using pain pills like they were going out of style. He ended up losing the job he’d had for all those years; it’s 3 years later and he’s been in and out of the hospital (mostly from seizures) more times than I can count. Still unemployed, and very fragile. Last week he was suicidal and he’ll be coming home on Monday. I’m not supposed to have him living here but he has nowhere to go and is in too weak of a state to kick out on the street. So. I’ll take that risk. He just confided in me that he was raped when he was 14. That’s around the time he started using. Oh my, what a hard road this is for both of us.


    • My heart goes out to you and your son! I’m so glad that you are taking him in. I believe so much in the power of love, to help heal him and to hold you up. Just that love, that taking him in, is powerful. And that he confided to you about that past abuse is huge too, and must have a healing affect. We have to bring light to our wounds to heal them. I do believe that. I’ll be holding you and your son in my thought a prayers. I can’t help feeling that each mother I meet here, struggling with the same issues I struggle with, is a sister in Soul. That we all throw our arms around each other and help to hold each other up. And all our sons and daughters belong to each of us. We’re all in this together. That’s been such a comfort and strength to me since I started this blog. I hope it is a comfort and strength to you too.


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